*****I've just come across an inspiring blog that asks what would you be doing today if you had 37 days to live? Very good question. Discomforting feelings arise with this question because it forces you to face your illusion of a long life against the unknown of your expiry date. To ask yourself whether your life has been well-lived or well-spent, whether you have given your very best, and if you've had any regrets (and have you learned from them), are questions that should be asked throughout our living years and not on the eve of our death.
So what would I start doing today, knowing I had 37 days left to live? Or, better yet, knowing tomorrow might not be a guarantee?
~ I'd eat well all of the time instead of some of the time because I wouldn't want to know that I contributed foolishly to the ceasing of my existence simply because of a weak will.
~ I'd exercise more and stop looking for excuses around every bend.
~ I'd stop and take a deep breath whenever I'd feel overwhelmed instead of letting emotions carry me to dark or anxious places.
~ I'd give unconditional love to all and embrace their individualities acknowledging that a world where we are all the same is a very vanilla, boring world. There are reasons why we all were made different - survival of the species being primary.
~ I'd go out with friends and family more and try to curb my cocoon spirit that thrives on the stillness and silence of solitude.
~ I'd take a little more sun in the summer and absorb that natural Vitamin D.
~ I'd never stop gaining knowledge and will continue to do so until my brain can no longer understand.
~ I'd disconnect from the daily tech bombardment and have more long conversations [those that last for hours] with Beloved where we connect on so many levels and takes us back to the genesis of our relationship where it all began. This is why it works; this is why we stayed; this is where we feel most at home.
~ I'd tell him that I've loved him from the first moment I saw him and haven't stopped since. I saw my future in his eyes and never wanted to separate myself from his gentle spirit.
~ I'd thank him for taking such good and tender care of my heart and being the nurturing soul I needed in my life.
~ I'd tell him that I still found his face to be the map to my soul: the weight and experience of life in the lines etched deeply in his skin; the eyes that look at me with much tenderness and affection; the smile that is still the Achilles Heel of my soul.
~ I'd tell my daughter that her beautiful face, sweet voice and gentle smile is etched deep inside my heart and soul and is much a part of me as breathing.
~ I'd tell her that she was the best thing that ever happened to me and she made it easy for me to be her mother.
~ I'd tell her that the smile she entered this world with is still the one thing I still look forward to the most each time I see her.
~ I'd tell her not to cry so much for very few things are worth her tears.
~ I'd tell her to balance any act of ill-will against her with an act of kindness.
~ I'd continue to live within the hearth of my family's love.
~ I'd continue to live my life with the happy heart God so graciously provided me with.
~ I'd allow myself to be sad and be fine with that because sometimes a good cry cures many ills.
~ I'd continue to never being the instrument that hurts another verbally or cause them pain.
~ I'd continue to put a smile on my face, even when it is hard, for in that very act my own spirits will be lifted.
~ I would no longer dwell on regrets.
~ I would no longer dwell on things said but make a promise to learn from them and never repeat them.
~ I would become brave and throw fear to the wind for there are truly very few things to be fearful of in this world. The most feared things are the ones that your mind imagines.
~ I would forgive those that have hurt me and realize that I have also hurt in return.
~ I would continue to do all of these things and more. But the thing I would do the most is to continue giving all of me, giving all of my love.
These are the things that I would do had I 37 days. These are the things that I will do now knowing tomorrow may not be a guarantee.