Monday, February 10, 2014

Shh~



For Trifecta Writing Challenge: to create a 33 word post about a love gone wrong without using the following words: love, sad, tears, wept, heart and pain.


entwined in the heat of passion,
at the cusp of where physical devotion is met,
he whispers words best left unsaid -

their trysts,
changed, and forever now forfeited 
by three little damaging words 

44 comments:

Kir said...

oh I loved this, it was just enough and those words can ruin everything is they are not timed perfectly.
WOW!

JannaTWrites said...

Interesting take, that acknowledging the presence of love can be wrong.

rebecca said...

Thank you Kir. And, yes they can! :)

rebecca said...

If not timed perfectly, like Kir said, no?

angieinspired said...

A game changer, for sure.

Yeshasvi Mahadev said...

Best left unsaid... So true.
Three words are all it takes.
Great work!

Björn said...

At that moment a single name can be devastating... three words even more so.

Kathy Combs said...

That moment when those 3 little words are uttered and not reciprocated.

kymm said...

The bitch is having it all forfeited, when there are so many better things to be doing with one's mouth!

Lori Skoog said...

perfecto, Rebecca-San.

troy P. said...

What Björn said, most definitely!

Shailaja V said...

How hard it is to utter those words and not heard them said back to you! Well done!

C.C. said...

Yes, those three little words....spoken out of turn...are truly devastating. They can wreak havoc. Great take on the prompt!

rebecca said...

For sure, Angie :)

rebecca said...

Thank you Yeshasvi!

rebecca said...

Oh, I don't Bjorn, I think a single name can be MORE devastating! Thanks for stopping by...

rebecca said...

Kathy, or they are words that you didn't want to hear because it complicates the relationship. Either way, it's a game changer. Thanks for stopping by :)

rebecca said...

Kymm, you made me laugh. Haha! Thanks for that comment!

rebecca said...

Thank you Lorelei! :)

rebecca said...

Ah, Troy, you are also of the belief that three words are more devastating than one name. Interesting. Now my curiosity has been piqued. I'm going to take a poll because I'm sensing this is one of those situations where the sexes think quite differently. Thanks for stopping by :)

rebecca said...

Shailaja, or have words said one does not want to hear. Some people are more comfortable in uncommitted relationships... Thanks for commenting :)

rebecca said...

Thank you C.C.! And, you are quite correct! Thanks for stopping by...:)

mjshorts said...

Some things are best left unsaid!
A great take on the prompt.

Gina said...

Perfect use of timing. We all know the effect of those three words. So little and short but so BIG! And I'm with both kymm and Bjorn regarding their comments!

garrisonjames said...

You cut right to the heart of the mater. Three words can change everything. And here, they jut did.

rebecca said...

For sure Mike!

rebecca said...

Timing....if one is a little off, it changes everything! Thanks for dropping by Gina! Btw, I loved your 33. Loved!

rebecca said...

Garrison, three words or a name....seems to be the ongoing topic here. Which is worse? Hmmm..,

Ivy said...

Oh, wow! Love the build up to the eventual disaster. Those three words have the power to bind and tear apart. Well done!

trudgingthroughfog said...

Others have left great comments on the subject of your piece. I'll add that I really like some of your phrases: "at the cusp of where physical devotion is met" - what a fabulous description. Sexy without being graphic. Really great.

rebecca said...

Thank you Ivy! And, yes, those three little words hold a monumental impact and must be executed well, otherwise ....

rebecca said...

Thank you Trudging Through Fog! I confess "at the cusp of where physical devotion is met," is my favorite line as well. I think it sensual as well without being graphic.

Sara said...

Wow. I had to think for just a second, but it made all the better when I got it.

I liked this one very much -- every word of it:~)

rebecca said...

Thank you Sara! Yes, a twist for a change... Makes it all the better like you said :)

BCIJo said...

Very interesting and oh so true. Nicely done.

Draug said...

Awesome.

Momo said...

Beautiful piece. I love this phrase: forever now forfeited

Atreyee said...

Not everyone can accept love or being loved-how tragic when one loves and other wants nothing to do with it and thus the "relationship"(who are they kidding?)is wrecked!Fantastic take on the prompt Rebecca-loved it:-)

momtheobscure said...

Very nice. Yes, it can go very wrong. I guess that' why those are 3 of the hardest words to say.

rebecca said...

Thank you BCIJo! Thanks for stopping by...

rebecca said...

Thanks Draug! btw, love your writings...

rebecca said...

Thanks MoMo! Glad you enjoyed the piece :)

rebecca said...

Thank you Atreyee! Yes, many wait too long for those three little words to be said to them, while others never want them uttered. We are a complex species...

rebecca said...

Indeed momtheobscure! I couldn't agree more with you. Thanks for dropping by :)